Hi, I’m Hillary Clinton, I’m not qualified to do any of the jobs I’ve ever done, and I’m “ready” to do another one.   I’m going to be your next president.  Don’t worry about the fact that I compulsively blurt out easily disprovable lies whenever in front of a camera and I literally have a stroke whenever called on my mistakes, also, don’t worry about the fact that I have so many shady foreign friends that give me money that I would not qualify for the a “SECRET” level clearance, much less a TOP SECRET clearance.

That’s right, I’ve had too many interactions with the law and too many exchanges with enemies of the USA that I would not be allowed to do the lowest job in the United States Military if I were not Hillary Clinton, but that’s okay, because I am Hillary Clinton.  See?  It’s okay that I’m going to be President, because there is one thing that qualifies me to do that job; the fact that I am the chosen one, destined to be president, Hillary Clinton.  Don’t question it!  Just vote for me!

-Hillary “The wax wings of Icarus” Clinton

PS.  I spent my entire tenure as Secretary of State trying to “House of Cards” the Obama administration and hoping he’d lose in 2012 so I’d have a better chance of being president in 2016.  I’ve been Frank-Underwooding the entire DNC since before I can remember!  I crave power and will do anything to get it!  Vote Hillary!

The Podcaste . com disclaimer:

The preceding article was satirical in only ONE WAY and that is that it was written by Hillary.  It, of course, was not but everything stated with the preceding statement is true.  Hillary Clinton is not qualified to have a secret clearance and therefore her and Huma being in any government offices is nothing short of a massive breach in Homeland Security.