satire

#TBT Article: 9/17/13 Martin O’Malley

Hey there everybody!  Happy Thanksgiving!  Tech and I are dealing with our first Thanksgiving without our Grandpa Sully, he had a great sense of humor and I used to occasionally write silly fake news articles send them to him since he was a fan of funny emails.  Here is an article I wrote in September 17th of 2013 about then governor of Maryland, now presidential candidate Martin O’Malley.  So, without further mishigas, my Throw Back Thursday article:

9/17/13

Breaking News:  Maryland Governor Martin OMalley captured by Zoo officials.

WASHINGTON, DC:  While MD Governor Martin OMalley was responding to Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s ads trashing Maryland’s economy, taxes and government, National Zoo workers recognized OMalley as escaped lemur ‘Poopoo,’ who  had wandered off during a National Zoo sponsored event in Baltimore a decade ago.  “We imagine his natural migratory tendencies lead him towards Annapolis but we still haven’t figured out how he got into politics.”

Poopoo has had a devastating two terms as Governor, raising taxes and infringing on rights of landowners. “We are all kind of relieved he’s back in the Zoo where he belongs.  We’re confident his overall constant misunderstanding of the role of government and the rule of law is likely due to the fact that he is a lemur,”  said Maryland Lt. Gov. Anthony Brown.

Zoo officials commented, “This should be a lesson to all of us, when we see an animal that shows signs of political aspirations we should probably feed it more and raise security.”   Federal Wild Life Commission stated that this type of incident is all too common and could be devastating to a region and that the Michigan economic crisis is mostly due to the government being comprised of 2 flocks of Canadian geese.

Texas Governor Rick Perry occasionally visits the National Zoo and taunts the former governor, which would seem malicious if he didn’t do that to all the other animals.  Martin OMalley, or Poopoo, is adjusting well to his return to captivity despite Perry’s abusive visits and has even stopped trying to hold press conferences or write legislation with his tale.

ring-tailed-lemur martin omalley

Gov. Martin O’Malley in his habitat at National Zoo

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